


Running, Running, Running

by bufferbug



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Dreams and Nightmares, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nicole comforts Waverly, Smut, Unsettling, Waverly has a nightmare, waverly experiences heavy feelings of panic and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 10:37:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15772404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bufferbug/pseuds/bufferbug
Summary: Waverly has an awful nightmare.It's hard to summarise this without spoilers.





	Running, Running, Running

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea a while ago and have written and rewritten it multiple times. I wanted to write a manifestation of Waverlys potential abandonment issues in a nightmare-scape. 
> 
> If this feels disjointed it's intentional.   
> Dreams/nightmares are finicky things and I wanted to capture that. 
> 
> Anyway go forth and let me know what you think.

 

**_Running, Running, Running_ **

 

There’s a loud crack and a bright flash of light illuminating the prairie around her and she’s running, she isn’t entirely sure why she just knows her legs are stinging, and her lungs are burning, and her throat feels like it might close over at any moment. She wants to stop but a deep seeded panic sits heavy in her chest telling her to keep going, **RUN** , don’t stop, don’t look back, just **RUN**. There’s another deafening crack and the sky above comes to life again, goose bumps swarm her body, she squints her eyes trying to get a look at what exactly it is she’s running toward, but the horizon is pitch black and void of anything. The panic settles in deeper her heart thumping in her chest and ears, a tight non-existent snake wrapped around her rib-cage squeezing, a layer of sweat coats her body, tears pool and threaten to spill down her splotchy red cheeks. She wants to scream, to turn and figure this whole scenario out, she’s tired of this her body feels heavy and her joints are screeching at her to stop, slow down.

Then as if in some sort of play the beat changes and its suddenly bright and the sun is shining, and she has stopped running. Looking down her legs are bare and bloody tiny cuts cover them from the tall dry grass that grabbed and sliced at them as she ran, spinning quickly on her heals she looks at her surroundings there’s nothing there, blinking rapidly and palming at her eyes colours pop and fizz in front of her and then there it is, only it’s not an it, it’s a who Nicole in fact. She’s looking down at the ground her face bloody and she’s crying its body shaking, silent and heaving, but she isn’t consoling herself in any way she’s just standing there crying.  Something feels wrong she’s not sure what, but she can feel it thick and heavy like a itchy woollen blanket, the air feels dense and stale now and she has to consciously swallow and remind herself to breath. She calls out again slowly walking towards _Nicole_ , she wants to run to comfort her but something low down is screaming to her this is not Nicole.

Stopping a few feet in front of her, Nicole is as still as ever she hasn’t even met her eyes, her stomach flops a little as she calls her name again voice cracking. Nicole still doesn’t move just sways slightly like she’s caught in a breeze. Waverly tries again reaching out to run a trembling hand through red curly hair, it’s damp with blood and her stomach heaves, panic threatening to rise up up and out. She tries again, “Nicole!”.

Nicole only sways again slightly tears streaming down her cheeks forming rivers through her blood-soaked cheeks.

Waverly’s crying now sobbing her hands trembling, stomach heaving, chest tight and skull fit to explode “Nicole please!”.

Nicole’s eye’s flash up their wide and wild like a spooked animal, Waverly jumps in her spot throat instantly dry, “Nicole what’s happening? what’s wrong?”.

There’s no reply and Nicole’s eyes have returned to their empty downward gaze. Waverly can’t take it anymore she drops to her knees in a graceless thud hands spread out in the cool earth in front of her, everything hurts and she doesn’t know what’s going on, she’s tired and scared and just wants Nicole to answer her or do something even though she knows deep down inside that it’s not Nicole but she needs it to be she needs it to be her because she feels so alone and like everything is moving too fast. Heavy tears flow and she’s vaguely aware of the trail of saliva running down and off her chin, she stays like that for a while hunched over dirt and grass caking beneath her nails as she grips the earth like it might full out from under her at any moment again.

She looks forward through her tears, Nicole’s boots are in front of her perfectly clean. She wipes at the tears and drool leaving dirt smudges on her chin and cheeks, clearing her stinging throat she rises to her feet, her head feeling light. Looking into Nicole’s eye’s they’re empty as if someone or something has sucked the life out of her, that usual bright charming spark gone.

They’re back again the tears, and Nicole stands there looking ahead as if Waverly doesn’t even exist. The hairs on the back of her neck stands to attention as an icy wind blows through. Nicole begins to walk forward she walks right through Waverly and Waverly’s blood freezes in her veins turning to follow Nicole she calls out desperate for an answer for a reaction but there isn’t one and Nicole dissipates as she walks. Throwing her head back a choked sob falling out of her, the sky is still bright, and the sun is shining likes it’s no body’s business it’s a stark contrast to how she’s feeling, and she wants to scream and yell at it to, _fuck off._

She wants to curl up into a ball and squeeze her eyes shut until it all goes away, something is wrong, and _Nicole_ has left, faded into this nightmare. Every inch of this lost heavy feeling is trying to pull her down into the cool earth beneath her.

Grasping a moment of clarity she thinks to herself there has to be something around that’s familiar. Recognising the trees just up on the hill they are the ones that back onto the homestead but when she really focuses on them they appear to look fake, like a painted 60’s movie back drop.

She starts out towards them desperate to figure out what’s going on but it’s in that split second that she’s being yanked backwards the wind feels like it's being knocked out of her as she falls into what appears to be her bedroom at the homestead a carbon copy of herself is sitting at the foot of her bed crying and she so badly wants to rush and comfort her, but she can’t move it’s as if she stuck an invisible box. She goes to say something, but she’s cut off at the sound of draws slamming, she swivels to see a very angry looking Nicole shoving clothes into a duffel bag. Then it’s her voice pleading, her eyes go wide, turning back to herself sitting on the edge of the bed fear and panic written across _her_ features she’s asking Nicole to stay apologising for anything and everything. She watches a minute her own tears spilling down her cheeks, she watches as Nicole moves about the room in silence stuffing various belongs into her duffel bag not making eye contact. It’s when her other self stop’s pleading her small frame shaking that she goes to speak up to stop whatever it is that is going on, but nothing comes out, if anything her voice is muffled like a slightly out of tune radio. She looks on as her other self tries to grab at Nicole make her stop, stay, anything, she can see her own desperation and her throat feels thick and her sobs are watery, she clutches at her chest because her heart is breaking, breaking just like the other _Waverly's_  is.

Nicole announces she’s leaving and storms out of the room, the other _Waverly_   falls to her knee’s she’s crying so hard no noise is coming out and it looks like she’s half hyperventilating like the life is being sucked out of her and the walls of her bedroom are collapsing in on themselves around her. 

Waverly who is crying herself kneels down to her other self’s level watching for a minute before trying to speak again but before she can try the other _Waverly_ looks at her, eyes locking she straightens up the other _Waverly_ pointing a finger at her, “you! This is your fault!”.

Her voice catches and she not sure she can even breath in this second all the air in her lungs has been sucked out and her head feels like it’s damn near about to combust. She sucks in harshly trying to gulp the air in like a fish out of water, _what is happening! This can’t be real. None of this is real,_ she tries to rationalise to herself. It does feel real though far to real and she’s hoping and oddly praying that something changes or that she wakes up or what ever thing is doing this stops because she’s so tired, her heart is heavy and hurting and her mind doesn’t feel like her own. Looking over at the other Waverly who is still sobbing, body shaking, nose running, drool trailing down her chin and onto her top the one Nicole had bought her as a surprise when she saw it at the store but couldn’t afford it. Her heart breaks all over again and she wants to ask _why it’s her fault_ but when she does her voice is still muffled, and the other girl doesn’t even notice she’s there anymore.

She sits back on her calves facing up to the ceiling her tear stained cheeks feel tight and her eyes burn her throat is dry and she would do anything for this all to stop. Her mind runs a million miles a minute and she wants to cry again give into the panic that’s been buzzing at the back of her head, instead she follows the cracks in the paint on the ceiling trying to ground herself figure out how to get back to reality.

Then there’s a voice whispering things in her ears, nasty and vile, she’s scrambles back eyes squeezed shut until she’s pushed into the corner of the room hands over her ears in an attempt to block it out. 

“STOP!” she yells, the other _Waverly_ doesn’t even flinch she just continues sobbing.

The voice turners deep and booming and it’s telling her that this is all her fault and of course Nicole would leave why wouldn’t she.

“STOP!” she shouts again, her knees pressed into her chest as she tries to make herself as small as possible.

She’s falling again of course she is and now she’s in Nicole’s house, a warmth in her chest builds and she breathes really breathes for the first time since this nightmare started. Nicole walks out of the kitchen towards her dimpled smile plastered across her face Waverly beams back through watery eyes and Nicole greets her with a “hey baby”.

She smiles wide her stomach tingling like it does every time Nicole calls her baby, but her smile falters and falls when she hears a voice behind her reply, “hey you!”.

She steps back and turns to see where the reply came from, it’s a beautiful woman her hair a golden honey colour and eyes an apple green, skin soft and smooth looking. Nicole walks straight through her again like earlier, she watches the her lean down and place a kiss on the blonde woman’s lips before snuggling in beside her.

The voice is back again whispering about how good the two women look and how happy Nicole looks. She doesn’t cry this time though maybe it’s because there’s no tears left and her whole body feels heavy, she doesn’t even fight back against the voice. She thinks that might have been a mistake though because she watches as the two women in front of her start to kiss heavy and needy, just like her and Nicole do or _did_.  Sitting down heavy on the coffee table she just watches, it’s almost like she can’t look away even though it feels like her heart is being ripped out and she might actually die in this moment. Nicole scoops the other woman up in her arms like she does with her and she just watches as Nicole carries her up the stairs to the bedroom, she doesn’t follow she doesn’t need to see the next part, she just moves over to Nicoles side of the couch and curls up and rests her head on the couch the smell of Nicole filling her nostrils, breathing in as much of her as she can in the moment.

She’s half asleep when the voice returns, and she sits bolt upright startled back into this false reality, it tells her almost soothingly that’s she pathetic and no wonder Nicole moved on.  Giving in she just lays back down she really can’t do this anymore she’s tired and quite frankly has no more fight left in her. She stares ahead looking at a framed photo of a young Nicole smiling proudly at the camera her Dad beside her his big hand resting on top of her head an identical smile on his face, _Funny_ she thinks that everyone would leave her, sweet little Waverly who does everything to please everyone of course why wouldn’t Nicole be the same.

Having resigned to the fact she isn’t waking up anytime soon and whatever if anything is doing this isn’t going to stop, she just lays there day dreaming about her and Nicole sweet summer kisses and hot and heavy nights sweat pouring, Nicole falling apart underneath her, herself doing the same thing moments later and on a perfect night both of them dropping over the edge together. 

There are footsteps descending the stairs and she opens her eyes its Nicole in a tank-top and what she calls her "practical"underwear heading for the kitchen, Waverly watches her go she knows she’ll be getting a glass of water and taking it back to the bedroom but not before she quickly downs a full glass herself first. Waverly watches as she walks back through the kitchen said glass of water in her hand, she can see the little wet patches of water down the front of her from when she gulped down the aforementioned glass of water in the kitchen. In a split second and much to Waverly’s surprise the red head turns to her glass slipping from her hand and dropping with a loud crash on the floor. All the blood drains from her the top half of her body and she’s quite sure she might pass out, she doesn’t though instead she watches as Nicole looks at her voice trembling she exclaims that Waverly _can’t be here_ she repeats the line over and over again causing Waverly to shimmy back and over the couch in fear, landing with a loud thud a shriek escaping her, she screws her eyes shut hoping she might start falling again. 

She can hear still Nicoles voice though only this time it’s repeating her name softly and she can faintly feel Nicole smoothing her hand over hair. When Nicole starts in with “Baby you need to open your eyes, it’s ok I got you”, she does just that looking up into worried brown eyes.

She doesn’t speak immediately though she covered in sweat and she’s not sure this isn’t just another scenario she’s been thrust into.

“Baby are you ok?” Nicoles voice is soft and soothing as she runs her thumb along Waverlys flushed cheek.

“Yeah just a bad dream” she half jokes, “actually it was awful...” and she’s crying like in her dreams big salty tears flowing and she can’t stop them.

Nicole just pulls her in closer smoothing her hair over and whispering sweet nothings into her temple punctuating everything with little kisses. Its once she’s calmed down and the dream is now a distant memory that she wriggles back and looks up at Nicole “I love you, you know that right?”.

“And I love you Waverly Earp” Nicole smiles down at her and her stomach flutters.

“Promise?” she stares deep in to Nicoles eyes

“Promise” Nicole kisses her warm and reassuring, “but right now baby we need to maybe get you showered and change these sheets you soaked through them and a little bit of me”, she pulls her tank top up to show a wet patch.

“Join me then?” She looks up nervous because if she has to leave Nicole she might start crying again because right now she feels emotionally raw and her head is still feels full.  

“Of course! How about we strip and remake this bed have a quick shower and hop back in for a snuggle?”, Nicole kisses her forehead before they both get out of bed quickly stripping and remaking it before heading to the shower.

Once both in the shower warmth crawling into every crevice of the small space Nicole asks her if she feels better and she watches as the water runs over and down her girlfriends’ body and she rushes forward pushing her against the tiled wall and kissing her hungrily.

“Hey what’s gotten into you baby? Are you ok?” Nicole asks pushing Waverly back a little, so she can look into her eyes. 

“Sorry”, Waverly steps back slightly eyes focusing on the floor of the shower, “it’s just you…, that dream, those dreams you left me every time and in the last one I just let you go, you looked so happy with her…” she trails off.

“hey, hey I would never leave you, I love you Waverly Earp”, the use of her full name makes her stomach flip and her mind swim.

She lunges forward again crashing her lips into Nicole’s and she almost certain that they’ll be bruised later but she doesn’t care she wants to feel Nicole every inch of her, storing every little freckle and inch of skin to memory. Nicole has other plans though and before she can think her back hits the wall and Nicole is kissing her hard, trailing down her neck and nipping at her collar bone before moving back up. She gasps loud the noise filling the small space when she feels Nicoles hand slide up her thigh cupping her throbbing sex before swirling her middle finger around her clit. Nicole continues kissing her soft and slow stopping only to look into her eyes and smile that cocky smile she sometimes has when they are doing this. Moving her hand to the back of Nicoles hair she pulls her back down into a kiss tongue slipping out to seek its entrance into the Nicoles mouth and Nicole must get the memo to pick it up because she moves a bit faster two fingers now moving through her hot folds instead of her previously slow unhurried motions. As she feels that tightness build in her lower abdomen she wraps both arms around Nicoles neck leaning back as much as she can legs spreading a little more than they are so she can look down and watch Nicole finish her off, Nicole does the same resting her forehead on her shoulder so she can watch it all happen. It’s not a second later and Waverly exhales sharply a small whimper following it and her legs shake, she and Nicole both panting before they kiss soft and love drunk.

I love you’s are exchanged as they rinse off.

As they go to settle into bed Waverly looks over to Nicole who is pulling out a tank top from the dresser, “Hey baby mind if we sleep like this…?”, she motions towards herself then Nicole. 

“If you like”, Nicole replies and drops her towel in the clothes basket in the corner of the room before making her way into bed.

Waverly does the same thing climbing in and snuggling into Nicoles side so she can hear her heart beat. Nicole strokes her hair like she always does, and she thinks that maybe Nicole won’t leave and one day those thoughts and fears will disappear but for now they might linger and that’s ok because all she has to do to make it stop is slip into Nicoles side and listen to her heart beat and know with almost certainty that she isn’t going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written smut it kinda scares me because I want it to be good and not to cheesy so let me know what you think of that I guess.


End file.
